Wasting time

since we're stuck at home.

You Are Mexican Food

Spicy yet dependable. You pull punches, but people still love you.

What Kind of Food Are You?

Absolutely accurate.

You Are 40% Paranoid Schizophrenic

You're pretty grounded, though you have your occasional paranoid moments. Just make sure to ignore those voices in your head!

Are You A Paranoid Schizophrenic?

Eh, okay.

Your Linguistic Profile:

70% General American English

20% Dixie

5% Yankee

0% Midwestern

0% Upper Midwestern

What Kind of American English Do You Speak?

Funny, for a Midwesterner.

You Are Most Like George W. Bush

So what if you're not exactly popular? You still rule the free world. And while you may be quite conservative now, you knew how to party back in the day!

What Modern US President Are You Most Like?

WTF?

You Are 84% Bipolar

You have some serious ups and downs, maybe to the point of endangering your own life. Consult a doctor to see if you may truly have bipolar disorder.

Are You Bipolar?

Nothing like diagnosing mental illness through an online quiz. Lithium anyone?

D'oh!

I got all of us all ready to go to the park, diapers packed, cold water bottle, clothes changed, faces washed, kids strapped into their car seats in the van, keys in the ignition, started to turn it over, and ... Nothing. Nothing. Van won't start.

I immediately realized ... between the infant screaming as though a tiger were attacking, the sleeping toddler I wanted to get in the house without waking up, the groceries I had to unpack before they thawed out or otherwise spoiled, I totally forgot to turn the lights on the van off when we got home from the grocery store yesterday.

*sigh* I called Eric to tell him what a dumb-arse I am, and he suggested I ask Sam from across the street, the only neighbor we really know, to help. They're gone for the weekend. I might call friends later, but right now, we're going to make some cookies and stay home and I might let Guthrie watch a movie while I listen to the Chiefs game

*sigh*

Single Parenthood

I've rather suddenly become a single parent.

No, I didn't leave my husband. Rather, my husband left me.




















Okay, he's only left me for 3 days, but still. Did I have you going there? I didn't think so.

Eric is currently sitting on a flight to Los Angeles, where he'll be spending the next three days. What's he doing in LA? Going to parties. Hanging out with his oldest dearest childhood friends. Having his portrait done. And mostly, from what I can tell, not having two drooling, crying, diaper-wearing, puking, pooping, "Mommy please may I play the train game?" little ones hanging off of him. Which is exactly what I'm going to be doing all weekend.

Oh, yes, it's all technically "business," and "job-related," and all that jazz, but I think I want a job where I get to go to LA and hang out with famous people, and generally be child-free for a weekend.

Did I mention he was having his portrait done? By the artist who recently did the portrait of one rather well known, very hot new mama?

(Okay, I'm just jealous that he's going to be hanging out with someone who got to see Angelina Jolie naked. There's my confession.)

And the highlight of my weekend will be ... I was thinking of taking the boys to the zoo, but it's going to rain, and none of really slept well last night - Guthrie woke up at 4 in the morning asking me to change his diaper (!), and then Turner peed through his diaper and all over his onesie, the bedclothes, and I woke up in baby pee. Eric will be having cocktails, with friends and without babies, on Hollywood and Vine, and I will be eating El Pollo Loco and watching Wallace and Gromit (I promised Gutrie we would). Tomorrow, Eric will be at the Huntington Library with movie stars while I'm changing diapers and cutting grapes.

Is there no justice in the world?

When he gets home, I'm taking a nap. Yeah, that's right. He goes for a weekend without the family, and what do I ask for in return? A nap. A long nap, all by myself. Maybe even a long bath. Seems fair, huh?

Wish me luck.

Karma Chameleon

When I couldn't find Guthrie today, I located him in my bathroom, very quietly applying blush with an eyeshadow brush all over himself. He was very proud. Sweet little thing. I figure why not - we've painted his toenails too!



And then he thought Turner needed his done, too, so he did Turner's with a marker.

More Cars.

To continue:

This is Mack:

And here, left to right, are The King, Lightning McQueen, some random race car, Thomas the Tank Engine (he needs gas too!), another random race car, Chick Hicks, and Luigi. They are all at the gas station, filling up before the big race. They also all take their turns on the train set in the background.


Sally is apparently lost somewhere in this giant mess of a car collection. This big bin is almost completely full of cars, mostly thanks to his Uncle Mitch.

Cars!

We try, for a variety of reasons, to avoid too much commercialism, especially for the kids, and to limit exposure to licensed, branded, franchised toys and characters. I could go into depth explaining why, but that's not my point right now, and if you're really curious, I'll direct you here. My guess is you're either already on board with this idea, or you don't really care and it wouldn't make much of a difference anyway, so I'm not going to waste my virtual breath right now.

One of our reasons, though, is that we believe it encourages imagination and creativity. Toys with too specific of a purpose, or very strong associations can be very limiting - you only play with it in the way you are "supposed to," and that doesn't really require much thought. The more simple and basic the toy, the more things you can do with it, the more creative you're going to be with it.

We've seen lots of evidence this seems to be working with Guthrie lately. This past summer, we took him to see the Disney movie Cars. While he does have a little tiny actual toy model of both Lightning McQueen and Doc Hudson, he loses them a lot, and is really much more interested in the models he's found in his own giant box of cars (thanks Mitch!). He does ask for the licensed stuff when we see it in the stores, but he doesn't go overboard, and it's not a battle at all.

What he has done is find, in the box of cars he already had, models that he has assigned to be the cars from the movie. It started with a blue race car that actually did look amazingly like The King. Then he found other race cars, and one became Lightning, and another - a green one - Chick Hicks. His model VW bus, when not being called "Uncle Mitchell's Bus," is Fillmore. A green car with flames is Ramone, an older silver car is Doc. His red Coca-Cola truck is Mack, and my personal favorite, the tow-truck we bought him in Mexico, is Tow-Mater. There is also a black Porsche that has been assigned to be Sally, although I think Eric helped him figure that one out. And the big plastic car is Luigi. My favorite, though, without a doubt is his "gas station." It's part of his train set, and is supposed to be, I assume, a platform for waiting for the trains. I never would have thought to make it a gas station, but that's exactly what it is, and what he did.

Unfortunately, for some reason, I can't get all the pics to load into this post. So, see the post above, or below, or however it ends up showing on the page, to get it all figured out.

Ramone and Doc:

Tow-Mater:

Fillmore:

Pictures

Check out what we got from our tree. Yes, it's a lemon. From our lemon tree. How cool is that? Course, we can't actually eat it, because the white flies got to it first, but we did at least get a lemon.

This is amazing. Check him out. He sleeps. By himself. Alone. For more than 15 minutes. He obviously didn't learn this from his brother.

And I took about a thousand great pictures of Eric and Turner yesterday, but since I can't post them all, here are 3 of my favorites:

Feeling like a bad mom

I know I'm not actually a bad mom, but sometimes I feel like a total bum.

Right now, Guthrie is playing Thomas the Tank Engine games on the laptop, while I work at the computer. (Yes, I know blogging isn't really working, but I did have actual work to do, I'm just done now. Just because I SAH doesn't mean I don't have actual work to do on the computer.) Turner is napping.

I've been letting Guthrie play on the computer too much lately, but he hasn't been watching any movies at all, and I do figure the computer is the lesser of two evils, because it's not entirely passive. Yes, he's on a commercial site, and is getting addicted to Thomas (I realized why we were so dead-set against licensed toys walking through Wal-Mart the other day - "Look Mom, there's Thomas! It's Dora! Lightning McQueen!").

The mosquitoes are so bad right now it's miserable to play outside. This September was apparently one of the wettest on record here, and there were several individual rainfalls that set records. And areas were flooded, there is lots and lots of standing water, which of course equals mosquitoes.

Unlike the mosquitoes that I'm used to in Missouri, these things bite all day and night. Doesn't matter when you leave the house, you are going to get eaten. Just walking to and from the van to go to the store I've had 10 bites! It's worse on the boys, too, because Turner obviously can't swat them off, and Guthrie usually doesn't realize they're there, and then he scratches his bites until they bleed!

I don't want to cover them in insect repellant, either, even though I have some Burt's Bees. So, we haven't really been going outside. It's not worth it to come inside covered in bites (and I do mean covered - I've counted 20 or 30 on myself at any given time lately).

I hope this is going to end soon, but it's been really rainy lately, and the forecast is calling for rain just about every day. It's so bad that I've found mosquitoes living, flying around in the house. I sat down to use the bathroom and heard that buzz! I'm certain that's what wakes Turner up from his naps sometimes - there are almost always a couple in the bedroom lately.

Maybe we should cover the whole house in a giant mosquito net?

I'm going to get off the computer and try to steal the laptop away from Guthrie. He really would play on it all day if I let him. We've got to figure out ways to be more "active" while staying inside, or at least not getting eaten alive!

Lost without Lost

We don't have cable. Haven't in the whole time Eric and I have been together. Don't really miss it at all. I'm glad we don't have a TV where we can watch it (it's in the garage, unplugged.)

I do have one TV show I'm slightly addicted to though - Lost. Stupid, lame, cheesy as all hell, but I love it. It's pure escapism, and that's what I want out of TV. Samantha and I used to sit together on Wednesday nights, tuen out the rest of the world, and get caught up in Sawyer, Hurley, Jack, Claire, Kate, and Sayid (aw ... swoon ... Sayid).

My computer can tune TV stations, so we bought a little set of rabbit ears to try to tune it in. But, I don't get enough of a signal to really be able to watch. I tried last week, and could make out enough to be able to tell what's going on, except in the dark scenes with Jack. This week, though, I was putting the boys to bed, and didn't get enough of a signal for the computer to record. So I'm sitting here with no clue what happened to any of them. Where are Locke and Desmond? How's the baby? And Sayid - where's Sayid? (With his much older girlfriend?)

I'm debating whether I should buy it from iTunes. I don't really like their policy with video downloads, that there is no way to burn it and watch it anywhere other than on your computer. But at the same time, I really want to watch Lost, and don't want to wait for the whole thing to come out on DVD.

I think I remember hearing you can watch it on ABC's website, and I might try that. My only concern there is whether I have to just watch it all, then, at once, which is darn near impossible with 2 little ones, or if I can download it to watch later, or how it works. I'll check it out.

In the meantime, NO SPOILERS PLEASE!!!!!!!! If I can't get to watch it, then I'll ask for an update. For now, I'll survive.

The Sweetest Thing

Yesterday morning, as I was trying to get all ready to leave for the store, Guthrie was playing in his room, and I laid Turner down on the living room floor to go do a couple things in the kitchen. I was unloading the dishwasher when Turner started fussing, and since I was almost done I thought I'd just go ahead and see if I could finish before he had a total meltdown. He was terribly fussy yesterday anyway, and it really didn't seem to matter what I did.

Guthrie apparently heard Turner fussing and ran in from his bedroom. He lay down on the floor next to Turner, put his arms around him, talked to him softly, and Turner calmed down. They lay there together for a few minutes, Turner staring and smiling at his big brother, Guthrie smiling and making faces at his little brother, holding hands, completely unaware that anyone was watching them. I wished I'd been able to get it on camera, but then Guthrie would have known I was watching, and gone after the camera instead.

It was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen in my life.

Guthrie is, mostly, an amazing big brother to Turner. Yes, he gets mad when Turner wants to play with his toys, or when he wants on my lap when I'm nursing Turner. Mostly, though, he wants to calm him down when he's upset, and is careful not to let him get anything he could hurt himself on, and if Turner is playing with a toy Guthrie wants or shouldn't have, Guthrie will take it away (sometimes gently, sometimes not) and replace it with something more appropriate.

He also wants to share with everyone. When he's eating his food, he'll try to feed me bites, or when we make a meat and cheese tray he'll fix up little sandwiches for Eric and me. And the other day when Turner and I were napping, Eric said it was all he could do to keep Guthrie out of the bedroom, because he found one of Turner's toys and was certain Turner needed it right that second.

He's a sweet, sweet kid. We must be doing something right.

Those Un-Socialized, Miseducated Homeschooled Freaks

http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=2510880

I'll have lots more to say about the whole homeschooling issue when I have a chance, but here's an article talking about how many colleges are actively recruiting homeschoolers. And I'm sure that's because they don't have adequate social skills and are getting an inferior education. @@

Yes, I'm planning to homeschool my two little boys. My husband, the college English professor, is just as enthusiastic about this as I am. We have researched it. We already know what our plan is, and have since before Guthrie was born. We feel confident that we can do it. I'm not worried about "not having a life" or my boys not having friends. My only concern, honestly, is finding other homeschoolers in this area who are not doing so for religious reasons.

?

And can anyone tell me why the wireless internet connection using the laptop is SO MUCH FASTER than the connection on my computer? It all goes through the same thing. But the laptop just FLIES! I think Gus can have my computer, and I'm taking this one. Better screen, faster speed. And I can use it anywhere.

Another quiet Sunday

I'm starting to rather enjoy our relatively quiet, uneventful Sundays. Eric and Guthrie are currently at the grocery store, getting some sushi (Sushi Sundays!), fruit, and miscellaneous other goodies to stock the cabinets and fridge. Turner is doing the most amazing thing, which he has been doing all week - napping. All. By. Himself! And he has been, for over 4 HOURS!!!!!! Yes, this kid is certainly a gift from one of the gods (is there a god of sleep?) to make up for the little sleep demon who is the Guthrie. I even took a long nap with him - about 2 hours - while Eric took care of Guthrie, finished writing his book review, and even picked up all the toys and straightened up the living room! Is it my birthday?

I'm sitting and listening to the Chiefs (down 17-10 at halftime) and typing away on the laptop. Why the laptop? We pulled it out to the living room so Gus could bomb around on it while Eric and I tried to get stuff done, but instead Guthrie wanted to use my computer, and so I'm using this one. Whatever works.

I've been having the most bizarre dreams lately. I've always been one to have weird dreams, but I think I haven't been getting enough regular long stretches of sleep to have that many strange dreams. The night before last I dreamt of a horse giving birth (very scary, actually - my Chinese zodiac animal is the horse), dreamt last night of giant boxes of Goldfish crackers and of our lawn, which we just had mowed a few days ago, being 3 feet tall in places. And the weirdest - I was Kate Hudson, had just been on a date with Burt Reynolds, and was driving back into Warrensburg from our old house when I realized Burt was following me, and so decided to pick up my cell phone to call my good friend George Clooney to see what I should do.

WTF?

If I'm going to dream of celebrities, couldn't I at least have been on the date with George Clooney? Or even better - Joaquin Phoenix or Johnny Depp?

Our nights now - bedtime -are much better. I take the boys in and lay down (lie down? never can get those right) between them and we read stories. Turner nurses, listens to stories, inevitably fusses a little bit, but then falls asleep, and I curl up to Guthrie and keep reading stories for awhile. Some nights we read for two hours, but I don't mind, and Guthrie loves it. He does the funniest thing though - if I turn to look at one of the boys while I'm reading, and keep talking and finish the sentence I'm reading, he'll get mad at me and say "I'm not a word!" Too, too funny.

And since bedtime has gotten easier, and better, and Guthrie at the age of 2 1/2 finally sleeps mostly through the night by himself, and Turner sleeps long stretches without needing anyone there, I've started to be able to stay up at night and spend some time with my husband, like a grownup. Last night I think it was 1:30 before I went to bed, after Turner woke up and when I picked him up he pooped all over both of us. It's not so bad - before the poopfest I got to have two whole glasses of wine (Yellow Tail Shiraz if you're curious) with my husband, and I finally got him to agree with me on a point I've been arguing for, oh, almost the entire 5 years we've been together.

Turner is awake, I'm not doing enough of my part to root on the Chiefs, so I must go.

Luna-tic

Eric is now convinced, and almost has me convinced, that I go a little crazy with the full moon. Because I was, uh, a little crazy yesterday. Like as in the pile of dishes in the sink seemed like an insurmountable task, and the fact that Guthrie took two hours to go to sleep seemed like some sort of punishment from the gods. And today I am totally fine. Well, mostly. I was a little bonkers that Guthrie, after going to bed at 10:00, woke up at 5:30, but other than that - fine!

So I'm going to have to pay attention for this, and see if there's any truth to it. After all, I am a Cancer, and the ruling planet is the Moon.

Goodbye, Buck

Kansas City's finest citizen, Negro League star and all around fine man Buck O'Neil has passed. He fell one vote short of the Baseball Hall of Fame in this past year's vote. Thank you, Buck, and you will be missed.

Brotherly Love

Aren't they sweet? Doesn't Guthrie look like a great big brother?

Ah, yes. Of course, this was snapped immediately before Guthrie decided to let go of Turner, who then proceeded to fall flat on his face on the carpet, and then roll over with that look of, "What the heck just happened?" Which is why we have no intention of putting in the nice tile flooring until the boys are much, much older.

Duh, duh duh duh, dumb

Okay, so apparently I'm an idiot and the video I tried to embed didn't work. And I was so freakin' proud of myself for figuring out how to do it.

Anyone want to give me some tech tips and tell me what I did wrong? Really, I'm not that computer illiterate.

UPDATE: I got it to work, sort of. Now it's huge, though, and screwing up my template.

Ah, well. It's not that exciting. I'll leave it up for now, then take it back down to fix mylayout.

I swear I'm doing it right - Eric and I are having a very bad tech week.

Go Chiefs

I'm managing to have a chance to sit down and update this thing right now because Guthrie has been begging me all morning to watch The Pink Panther, and I've told him all morning that as soon as the football game started, he could watch it. So, as soon as I got my computer all ready and tuned to the Kansas City station so I could listen to the Chiefs game, he asked again for The Pink Panther. And so I told him I'd get in ready for him in just a second, and he ran off. I went looking for him, and found him - playing happily in his room!!!!! While I will certainly let him watch the Panther when he asks again, because I said he could, I'm sure as hell not going to remind him he wanted to watch TV. Especially when he's playing. Happily. In His Room!

Did I mention that I love love love my high-speed internet, so I can listen to my football team playing when it's not going to be on any local radio? So what if the Chiefs are 0-for so far, and Trent Green is out for now - I'm still going to listen. And Turner, Guthrie and I are all wearing our Chiefs gear today, too. (I married an Oakland man, who won't wear Chiefs red. Meanie.)

And now, less than 10 real-time minutes into the game, KC is up 7-0. Maybe that's the secret - I just need to blog about the game for them to win.

So, sing it with me now:

"O'er the land of the free, and the home of the CHIEFS!"

Little Lucy

This is the news today, fitting in with my theme from yesterday. A new human ancestor fossil found. Now, I don't know how they can find fossils 3+million years old when, according to a large portion of the population of Kansas, the earth is only 6,000 years old, but I still find this interesting.

I haven't had a chance to read and make any sense out of it yet. Our household is currently passing around a late summer cold/flu, and my head is pounding so hard that I'm having trouble even walking straight. I feel hungover, without the benefit of having enjoyed the drunken reveling that usually preceds a hangover.

I was looking at the pictures of her in our local newspaper, and Guthrie came up, curious. I tried to explain it to him, but he just asked, "Is it sharp?" and then closed that section of the newspaper, telling me it was scary. Okay, no little budding paleontologist there.

Lucy in the Sky

I'm ticked.

Eric's old e-mail address is still valid, and he got a message earlier that made me very mad. My favorite former professor, John Sheets, was announcing a guest speaker on campus. Who, you might ask?

Oh, just Donald Johanson!!!

I leave Warrensburg, and one of the very few people who I'm totally fascinated by comes to speak. Life=not fair.

Instead of listening to him speak, and getting him to sign his new book (which we've already gotten a copy of, although I've not had a chance to look at it), I'll just listen to "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" and think of what I'm missing.

Sad. So sad.

We also found out CMSU is not CMSU anymore. Nope, now instead of Central Missouri State University it is the University of Central Missouri. The only apparent advantage I can see to this is it lost its unfortunate initials, and we'll have to be given a new nickname, instead of Call Me Stupid University .

(And, although I haven't moved to Beta yet, I'm having trouble leaving posts on some people's {Karrie's and Jill's} blogs. Could be on my end though)

Don't worry, I'm not selling the kids on eBay

Or the husband for that matter. Although this week - as you could probably figure out from the last post - did make both of those options sound tempting at one point or another.

And, for the record, it was indeed the completely insane blonde woman of the house (uh, me) who decided to skip birth control and let Mother Nature take its course. I won't flog myself, or listen to Vogon Poetry. (After marrying a writer, and attending lots of poetry and fiction readings, the Vogon poetry took on new meaning for me. I've heard a couple dreadful poetry readings, but also some very, very good ones)

(And to go completely off, I just realized it's 9:30 at night, dark out, but I can hear someone's lawn mower. I guess that's one way to beat the heat. How bizarre)

So, of course, I love my little ones more than anything. This week, for some reason, was very very hard on me though. I can't really tell you exactly why - it's all just a big blur for some reason. I know there wasn't much sleeping involved, and I know that one night when Guthrie had been awake for 2 HOURS already and it was about 4 a.m., and he'd succeeded in waking up Turner (but not Daddy), I lost my temper with him and wasn't exactly the best AP positive parenting mama around. Why exactly I thought yelling at a child would make him go to sleep I don't know. Yes, I had one of my worst parenting moments then.

The toys everywhere, the diapers, the endless repetitions of Richard Scarry stories, the constant preparing of snacks and having to pull down my shirt to feed the little one, the messes - it all got to me. Why this week? I don't know, it really wasn't any different. I was really feeling like we'd been insane - genuinely diagnosably insane - to have two kids so close together, even though it's how we planned it.

I'm feeling much better now. Eric let me take a nap this afternoon, and made cookies, to fatten me back up make me feel better.

I am much more certain now, though, that this IUD is staying in for the full five years, and then I'll only think of more babies if Mary Poppins can live in the garage.

What were we thinking?

Whoever thought it would be a good idea to forego birth control, let Mother Nature make the decision, and allow us to conceive a baby and have two little boys just 25 months apart needs to be flogged, repeatedly.

Or made to listen to Vogon poetry.

Where Were You ...

For a long time I was afraid the "Where Were You" moment of our generation was going to be something sadly representative of our generation, such as

- when the OJ Verdict was read? (At a prenatal appointment for Samantha at Bassett Army Community Hospital in Fort Wainwright, Alaska)

- when you found out about Kurt Cobain's death? (in my bedroom at home watching the news)

- when you heard Princess Diana had died? (I'd just been picked up from work by my ex-husband and his best friend, and they told me)

- when you heard (or watched) the Challenger explosion? (I'd just gotten home from school - first grade - and saw on the news. The older grades watched it live, but we weren't told about it. I'd wanted to be an astronaut up until that moment)

We all realize now that that moment for us, the moment that defines people now the way JFK or Martin Luther King Jr. (my parents found out about MLK's death when they arrived at the hotel for their honeymoon. He was probably being assassinated as they were saying their vows) was the previous generation, is 9/11.

And why do we feel the need to tell these stories? Why must we repeat our own tale of when we heard, what we saw, especially those of us who had no real connection to the event? Unity in crisis? A form of healing - what is it exactly?

I was working at the Revenue Office of Central Missouri State University. I had to call home for some reason and my then-roommate, Chris, said they'd just bombed the World Trade Center. At that moment it didn't mean much, then my boss came up and started telling us more details, we all began checking websites, and he brought up a portable radio so we could listen.

As the day went on, reports were varied and mostly inaccurate, at least by word of mouth - a rumor of a car bomb somewhere, and I was a victim of the gas-shortage rumors, and had to leave work early to be certain I had enough to make it home.

Just a few months later - New Year's Eve - I was in NYC, at the home of some of Eric's friends who lived in Battery Park City, overlooking Ground Zero. They described watching the planes hit out their window, the fears that the tower would fall on their building, and their trying to escape to safety until they knew it was okay to return. Then I met another friend, who was with his son on the last train to go under the WTC as the planes hit. And we were there, half-drunk on the streets, on our honeymoon, on 3/11/02 when the towers of light were first lit. We listened as everyone told their stories then.

It's still horrifying to watch. Our kids, though, won't get it. They will be so used to it, will have seen it over and over on the screens, the way we've seen JFK go down and Jack Ruby take out Lee Harvey Oswald, that it won't ever be real to them. They won't have the fear, the sadness, the longing for the world to return to the way it was on 9/10/01.

My son, though, saw the picture on the newspaper - one tower in flames and the other plane about to strike - and he knew. He turned the paper over, so he didn't have to look. He is only 2 1/2, but he still knew.

I don't have any great words of wisdom. It's all been said. But in the same way my mom's family was so in awe of the first moon landing that they took a picture of the screen, I had to say my peace, too.

This is why I can never get any work done

Yep, apparently I'm a human jungle gym. And my computer is the most fascinating thing in the world.

I was sitting trying to do something that should have been fairly simple (add music to my iPod, which actually turned into a nightmare, but that's a different story), and Guthrie climbed all over me. And stayed there. And I was afraid if we moved, he'd fall, so I was kind of stuck. Fun, fun, fun.

I did manage to get it done, though, and Eric set up my speakers in the living room, so I can listen to MY music in the living room and dance with the kids. Maybe I'll get rid of these last 10 pounds that way.

Should I add now, after showing this pic, that Gus can almoststand on his head, and hangs from the bunk bed? Gymnastics in the spring, maybe?

We've been Tagged

by Abby and Davis. Well, Turner has been tagged that is.

3 Things That Scare Me
*When Guthrie yells
*When I wake up and can't find a boob
*When Guthrie walks over me to make himself a "tunnel" for me

3 People That Make Me Laugh
*Guthrie
*Daddy
*Mommy (I don't really know anybody else yet)

3 Things I Love
*My swing
*my orange monkey
*boobs

3 Things I Hate
*having gas
*dirty diapers
*long car trips

3 Things I Don't Understand
*why Guthrie yells
*what's so special about trains
*Nascar

3 Things On My Desk/Table (or blanket)
*an orange stuffed monkey
*a Kermit the Frog rattle
*Yellow maracas

3 Things I Am Doing Right Now
*rolling over
*playing with my toes
*reaching for toys

3 Things I Want to Do Before I Die
*eat a strawberry
*play with Guthrie's toys
*wear underwear

3 Things I Can Do
*smile
*cry loud and long
*nurse

3 Things I Can't Do
*crawl
*sit up
*eat strawberries

3 Things I Think You Should Listen To
*My theme song
*Mommy makes me listen to this, and we dance
*Daddy likes this

3 Things I Think You Should Never Listen To
*Her
*Them
*Him

3 Absolute Favorite Foods
*Boobs
*Breastmilk
*Chi-chis

3 Beverages I Drink Regularly
*Mama's milk
*Mama's milk
*Mama's milk

3 Shows I Watched as a Kid
*X-Files with Mommy and Daddy
*Wallace and Gromit with Guthrie
*That's all - we don't have TV, just a DVD player

3 Babies I Tag
Julian
Cheraya
Zoe

I'm still here

I just haven't had anything interesting to say lately. Or at least I haven't had anything interesting to say at the same time that I've been at the computer and had both of my hands free to actually say it (or, as is the case, type it).

There have been some interesting comments lately by Karrie and Amanda, as well as Thordora about being a Mom-Who-Blogs-About-Her-Child(ren)-and-Mommyhood, and what group aforementioned Moms you fall into. While I certainly don't give this blog enough time or energy right now to really put myself into that Blogging Mama group, it has caused me to look back at life in general and try to see where I fit. And I've also seen that I may just be one of those moms, those moms who have thrown themselves so completely into being the best mom they could be that they've lost the real sense of themself. I think it's largely due to the mistakes I made with my daughter, mostly due to bad advice and not being confident enough in myself to do what I thought was right. (Well, that, and the deadbeat ex-husband who wouldn't get off his butt and get a job, which left me in the position of trying to be primary breadwinner, mom, wife, and actually use the full scholarship I'd earned.)

This is what I've been thinking about lately. I think it's why I'm so desperate to get back into school, to actually have the time to read a whole book (I have several scattered around that I glance over a page or two when I get a chance), and why it feels like such a thrill to get (!) to go to the grocery store by myself. My mom started asking me to give her ideas for Christmas, and the boys' sizes, and I realized I couldn't think of a single thing I want, just things I want for the kids, or for the family. Nothing just for me.

Except time. Time would be good. Time alone, time with my husband, time to try out a new recipe, or read a book, or lounge in a bath. Time to write in my journal, or write something here, or time to go check out a movie. Time. For Christmas, someone give me some time.

I love my babies, of course, but sometimes, I just want to look in the mirror and see JUDY again, not just "Mama."

I realize it's next to impossible right now, with a 4-month-old who won't even take a bottle and doesn't yet sleep through the night (and if he's anything like his brother, won't for a long damn time), but I have to remind myself that it will happen (as long as the IUD works. Please FSM let the IUD work!). And it will be here soon, too soon. As long as Judy stays in there somewhere, I'll revive her when I can.

It's just one of my fantasies right now, along with being able to shop for clothes without thinking about whether or not I can nurse in them, and being able to eat an entire pb&j without having to give up half of it to a 2-year-old.

This is too funny. What right-wingers see when they read the New York Times. Scroll over the headlines and pictures.

My dear sweet husband was so kind as to remind me this morning that not only will UTPan-Am likely not accept all of my transfer credits because colleges usually don't take all of your transfers, but also because a lot of times they won't take credits that are past a certain time frame, and mine are going on 10 years now for some.

Thanks Eric! How sweet of you to make sure I realize that not only has it been 10 years in January since I started college and I'm only a sophomore, but when I go back to school I'll probably only be a freshman. Oh, yes, and what was that - you have 5 degrees? (No, he didn't say that, just my internal insecurity dialogue)

I've been thinking about school a lot. I don't think I'll be ready for spring semester, but hopefully by next fall. And as Karrie recommended, I might try doing some online classes, at least for basics. And see if I can test out of anything, especially things that won't transfer.

My goal is still basically get a degree before any of my kids, which should give me 12 years. I should be able to manage that, right?

Apparently the Anthropology program here is pretty good, although I'm going to start back just taking classes I want to, like the 2nd part of Art History, and Economics, maybe Psychology. At this point I'm not out for a career, but an education, so I'll take it slow and easy until I figure it out.

4 Months!

First, I have no idea why that lost post screwed up my template. The html looks okay, to me at least. Weird. I'm curious if a new post will fix it, or if I have to wait for it to be archived.

Anyway, T-Maw (yeah, it's a stupid nickname) had his 4 month appointment today. The stats:

16 pounds, 8 ounces, 26 inches

And hours of crying after his shots.

Poor thing. Although I think the shots are really harder on Mom than on Baby, because we know what's coming.

Comparison to Guthrie at 4 months: 1 inch shorter, and exactly the same weight. Funny, since Guthrie started off over a pound heavier.

And our Ped, who Eric hasn't even met yet, went on and on about how we could start solid food anytime now. Give him some cereal, she said. When I told her we plan on waiting, she acted like I was the first person in the world who'd ever done so. I think I probably am a rarity down here, all around. But she kept going on. "How long do you plan on waiting?" "Why wait?"

Okay, you're the Ped. Doesn't the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) recommends exclusive breastfeeding for 6 months, then gradual intro of solids. So what's the big deal? Aargh!

I don't think she likes me.

And we've decided to really, truly, officially wean Guthrie. Eric has started putting him to bed at night. Last night it was 10:00 before he passed out. It's currently 9:30, and he's not asleep yet. But he's not screaming, which is what he was doing when I was trying to put him to bed. Screaming, and banging his head on the door trying to get out.

We also broke down and bought one of those portable DVD players with the little 7-inch screen. Yes, I know it seems like a complete and total waste of money when we already had a perfectly good TV and DVD player, and when both of our computers will play DVDs. But sometimes I need Guthrie to chill for a bit so that I can feel like a normal human being, or I need to have the "No Nap Today - OR EVER" child occupied so that the smaller infant, who DOES nap and needs more than, say, 17 minutes of sleep a day, can actually get some rest without Guthrie coming over and proudly waking him up.

And the portable player seemed like a good idea because a) it's portable, and can be put away, and so none of us will be tempted to turn it on in the middle of the day and just be veggies all day; b) it only plays DVDs, so we can't get sucked into soap operas or the news; c) it could be taken with us on long drives, like back to Missouri, so that there's something to keep the non-sleeping child occupied while we drive for what feels like weeks at a time; and d) it can be watched anywhere, any room of the house, or wherever we want to take it.

So he gets one movie a day. (Usually) That's not so bad.

Eric and I have also started watching the X-Files DVDs we bought. So. Much. Fun. I'd forgotten how much I loved the X-Files. And not just because David Duchovny's hot (he is). Just about bit Eric's head off when he suggested we skip forward and watch specific episodes - uh, no. We're watching in order. I still don't know how it ended, and won't until we get through 9 seasons.

Any predictions for how long it will take us? We've finished 3 episodes so far.

Yeah, I'm in total stream-of-consciousness mode. I have no idea what I've said. Must. Get. Sleep.

I'm debating whether I want to take classes in the spring. I don't know if I'll be ready to leave both kids with Eric for long stretches of time like that. And I freakin' hate pumping, and don't want to have to pump milk for Turner. I may wait until next fall. I just want to get my degree before one of my kids does.

Math Relays

Some of my best memories of are math relays. Yes, I was a nerd. What did I do for fun on a Saturday morning? Get up at the crack of dawn, pack my bag full of cards, pencils, notebooks, over-processed snack foods, grab a soda and a pillow, and show up to meet the bus. Then we'd ride somewhere so we could take math tests.

Sounds like a great time, huh?

Seriously, there was something about being on the bus, with a bunch of other nerds, and doing our own version of competing. I wasn't athletic, or artistic, or able to compete in any other way, but man, was I good at math. (Apparently still am, since I caught a significant error in dh's checkbook today)

I will admit, without bragging too much, that I have many, many math relay medals and ribbons in my keepsake box. Of course, the one I remember the most is the 4th place I got at Smith-Cotton one year. 4th place. 3rd and better got to go to state. If I'd only known the quadratic formula I would have gone to state. And then there's the fact that the same person - from the 'Burg at that! - always beat me. Or at least that's how I remember it. Beat me in speech competition too. And to something else. Thought about linking to her profile, but decided against it. With good reason.

A lot of people really disliked word problems. I, on the other hand, enjoyed them, and did pretty well with them. All of this came to me earlier, when I was trying to get both boys down for a nap at the same time. I wanted to write a new math relay test, one for moms.

So, get out your #2 pencils, your solar powered graphing calculators*, and get ready to fill in some bubbles, 'cause it's math relay time!

Question #1:

Guthrie is 29 months old and needs approximately 47 minutes of sleep in any 24-hour period. Turner is 4 months old and needs much more sleep than this in a day. Judy is their 28-year-old mother, who would like to take a nap with them. If Guthrie wants to nurse to sleep for his nap, and Turner needs to be bounced to sleep for his, and Judy just wants a little bit of rest, should she drink the merlot or the cabernet?

Question #2:

Turner wears size 3 diapers, and goes through an economy size box in 16 days. Guthrie wears a size 6 diaper and his boxes last a little longer, 21 days. If they both wear the HEB store brand with Clifford and cute little bones on them, will Guthrie ever decide to potty train?

Question#3:

Judy and Eric are a happily married couple. They love their children, cook healthy yummy meals, and see their dentists fairly regularly. If both boys co-sleep, and Guthrie's train set has taken over the entire living room instead of his bedroom, why did they buy a 3-bedroom house?

Question #4:

Eric's brother has nicknamed Guthrie G-Mitch, since his middle name (Mitchell) is after Eric's brother. This is a cute nickname from his uncle. Turner has 2 middle names, and his initials are TMAW. Judy has begun calling him by those initials as a nickname - T-maw. Is this the silliest nickname ever?

Question #5:

If Eric announces, at 10:51 p.m. on a Wednesday, that he wants more babies, and Judy's response is "Screw you," to which he promptly replies, "Well, yeah, that's how it works," should she have another glass of merlot? Or should she just drink the whole bottle?


Time's UP! Turn in your papers and go to the gym to play the dot square game, some Gameboy, and eat some nachos while you wait for your results. The awards ceremony will be at noon.

*At some point in high school my friend Tonya and I discovered that we could pass notes back and forth on her graphing calculator. It always looked like we were working, but instead we were just using the alphabet feature to pass notes. I've heard you can also use them to store formulas to cheat on tests, though, so I'll have to change my earlier statement and ban graphing calculators from this test.

I just want to say a great big congratulations to my niece, Stacia, who got her driving permit today.

I can't believe it's possible that my little Boo-Boo Bear is driving. Although she does have some pretty cool wheels now - take care of the Cougar, I miss it sometimes!

I love you Stacia. Be careful. Be safe. Congrats!

One-handed typing is limiting. So I'm quizzing, thanks to Callie.

Your Political Profile:

Overall: 10% Conservative, 90% Liberal

Social Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Personal Responsibility: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

Fiscal Issues: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Ethics: 0% Conservative, 100% Liberal

Defense and Crime: 25% Conservative, 75% Liberal

How Liberal Or Conservative Are You?

You Are 68% Lady

Overall, you are a refined lady with excellent manners. But you also know when to relax and not get too serious about etiquette

Are You A Lady?

I think that's about right.

Although the picture looks like a bit of a lush. Which I've been known to be.

Yummm, champagne.

Weaning? Ha!

It's now been about four hours since I announced, about as publicly as can be, that I'm going to try to wean Guthrie. And how's it going? Well, he woke up from his nap, cranky, and after trying for about 10 minutes to get him interested in something else, he pleaded, "Please may you nurse me so I will feel better?"

I gave in.

I'm weak.

Weak.

Mama wuss.

He's nursing as I type.

Weak.

I didn't desert this thing. Just between my mom and Samantha's visit, and Guthrie's new fascination with the computer, I just haven't had much of a chance to sit down at the computer. Well, I have, but it usually escalates into a fight between me and Guthrie:

"I want to press the moon button."

"No, Guthrie, you may not press the button."

"But I want to."

"You can't always have what you want."

"I want to."

"I know you want to. You may not. Mommy needs to finish this ..."

Moon button pressed, computer in hibernate, Mommy very frustrated. Keyboard and mouse get put away where Guthrie can't reach.

And remember how I talked about how well both boys were sleeping? Ha! You think Guthrie can sleep well, for an extended period of time? In your dreams. Okay, in my fantasies. Turner still sleeps like a dream, but Gus? Nightmare. I'm also thinking I'm ready to wean him. Yep, he's 29 months, and I think I've had enough. He only nurses at bedtime, and during the day I think I can handle that. Then bedtime rolls around and I dread it. So, we're working on giving it up. I'll keep you posted.

So the moral of the story is uninterrupted computer time has gotten hard to come by. I don't know how it's working right now, honestly.

I think of brilliant, witty things to write when I'm in the shower, or driving to the store. Then I actually get logged in to my blog, and I'm lucky if I can get to the "create new post" page before the fight begins.

We're thinking we're going to have to set the TV up after all. I'm about to lose my mind (completely) getting no time to do anything. I mean anything. 1,000 miles from family, no babysitter we trust yet, and a 2 year old who doesn't believe in sleep. The TV would at least buy me a few minutes here and there to do something with my time other than dishes and laundry. And with two adults, a 2 year old, and an infant, sometimes it feels like there's not much more to life than dishes and laundry.

We did go to the beach while my mom and Sammie were here. I wore my pretty dress we bought in Progreso. See:

Behold, the power of ...


To keep up the trend set by Amanda and Alimum, as well as others, I'm sure, I'm going to honor World Breastfeeding Week with a few nursing pictures myself.

First, one of my favorite pictures, taken minutes after Guthrie's birth:

Me nursing Turner at my 10 year class reunion:

And tandem nursing both boys. Not my favorite pic, and definitely not as beautiful as one I saw on the Feeding Choices Board, but the only decent one I have.

All I have for now. And since my mom and Samantha are visiting, and I'm trying to spend as much time with them as possible, I don't have any wonderful words of wisdom for the day. Except that it still amazes me to see these little bundles and know I kept them alive for 9 months in, and then 6+ months out, by my milk alone. Pretty cool, huh? Nature is a beautiful thing.

This is what it's all about. Right down to the diaper laying on the floor in the background.

I think I got my template things figured out, for now. It's still too boring. Will work on it later.

This morning I asked Guthrie what he thought of his brother. My little 2 1/2 year old sweetie said, "He's wonderful." How sweet is that? I think we must be doing something right.

Then, later, I asked if it would be fun when Turner is old enough to play with him, and if they would both play trains. Guthrie said, "No, Turner's not big. He's little. He eats boobies." !!!

I've decided I'm entirely too boring when, after both kids are miraculously asleep at 5:30 at night, my big excitement is reading other people's blogs. And debating on
Feeding Choices. And reading. And loading pictures onto Shutterfly.

Yeah, I need a life.

And how about some reasons you know you're a mom.

1. You open the refrigerator and find a matchbox car, a tealight candle, and a crayon.
2. You ask your husband to hold the baby so you can "go use my diaper." I meant the bathroom. Hopefully.
3. The last 4 books you read were written by Sears, Pantley, Sears, and your husband. That's all you can remember. In the last 3 years.
4. You have puke, poop, and pee on your shirt and pants and just don't even bother changing.
5. You look forward to bathroom breaks. You lock the door.
6. There is at least one toy car in every room of the house.
7. You have taken over 300 digital pictures. In the month of July. And there are two weeks left.

So I'm playing around with all kinds of things in my template. And it's been awhile since I've really done any html, and I've forgotten a lot, and trying to do it with the 2 little ones ... it's not working well. So I've got duplicated links, a font I don't like, blah, blah, blah. If it looks weird for awhile, bear with me. I'll get it all figured out.

A few dozen reasons I still have 14 pounds to lose:



Oh, yes, Eric made his cookies. His special cookies. His special, secret-recipe, this-time-customized-just-for-Judy cookies. Whole wheat flour. Oats. Maple syrup. Almond butter. Almond extract. Almonds. (seeing a pattern here - Judy loves almonds) Walnuts. Dark chocolate chips. It's like heaven in your hand (and your mouth, and then your thighs).

These were, undoubtedly, part of the reason I gained 55 pounds with Turner. The ice cream didn't help. But now, I've lost 36 pounds, and I'd like to lose the rest. These cookies are not helping.

(Yes, I know 36 pounds lost and 14 to lose doesn't equal 55 - I don't think I need to lose those last five, and don't know how I got down where I was before making Turner. I just want to get back in my favorite capris.)

I've gone back to being mostly vegetarian, and am aiming for mostly vegan. The ease of access to very cheap, yummy, pre-made tacos at every grocery store and gas station in the area does not help. So, I'm making beans. Lots of beans. Full of good stuff, fat free, cheap. I'll be a bean queen soon.

Guthrie took this picture, his second time using a camera:

He took this one his first time. Just like his dad. ;)

"Look, I was here first. Just do what I say and it'll all work out."

Stole this from the Feeding Choices Debate Board. Had to post it here. Fits the mood I'm in today. Well, the mood I've been in a for a few days.

A week or so ago, we had some friends over, a couple with a young daughter. They're really nice people, and they're daughter is a beautiful little sweetheart, who Guthrie is madly in love with. :) It was kind of late, Guthrie's sleep schedule was all messed up, and I knew it was pointless to try to get him to bed when there was a little girl here for him to play with. And, because he was tired,he was being a maniac at times.

While the men were standing outside drinking a beer, I was inside with the other mom, talking. Between Guthrie's staying up late and less-than-perfect behavior, she was telling me that he ets away with anything, and that I really needed to work on some discipline with him.

Okay, first of all, we've only been in this house for about 6 weeks, we haven't even gotten everything unpacked, and the kid is only 2. He's still trying to adjust to everything. Cut him some slack.

Second, I hardly think spanking or leaving a child to cry (which is how she suggested I get my 2 month old to start sleeping through the night) is a very effective or positive form of discipline.

But I didn't say anything. I didn't feel like arguing, or pissing anyone off. We really like her husband, and want to maintain the friendship (although I can't exactly see having a friendship with her), so I kept my mouth shut.

And this has just been how I'm feeling lately. We are, quite obviously, making a conscious and deliberate decision to actively reject many of our current cultural and societal norms, standards and behaviors. It is, quite frankly, much much easier to do now, here, where we are so far from family and others we know and who would criticize us for it, but it's still a difficult thing to do and stand by sometimes. We parent differently than the "mainstream," we eat differently, we value different things.

When you walk into our house, you'll notice immediately. We don't have a TV. (Well, we do, but it's still sitting in the garage, and that's where it will stay, unplugged) Our walls are covered (almost literally) with framed family pictures. We have thousands of books. We don't have a dining room, but instead have a library, which will also eventually be the room we use to homeschool the boys. Our bedroom has 3 beds - a futon on the floor, one on a frame, and a toddler bed. All four of us sleep in the one room. Guthrie's train set takes up half the living room.

We are, according to the standard American mindset, a little (lot) weird. So? What's so freaking great about being normal? Was Einstein normal? Newton? Darwin? Anyone who's ever made a difference in this world?

But we still feel the need to defend ourselves, at times, and it can still be hard to fight the prevailing mindset.

So, for anyone who wonders:

1. No, we don't plan on bringing the TV in from the garage, ever. We don't want cable. The one TV show I watch I plan to buy from iTunes, if I feel the need.

2. Yes, the boys do sleep in the same room with us. Yes, Turner sleeps with me, and most nights Guthrie comes to bed with me in the middle of the night. Yes, that does mean Eric and I don't actually sleep in the same bed. Yes, we like it this way. Yes, there are other places, besides the bed, for that.

3. No, we're not vegetarian, we just don't eat conventionally raised beef. No, I don't really miss it that often. Yes, you can get enough protein and iron without eating cow.

4. Yes, Guthrie still nurses to sleep. Yes, he will wean before college, I'm certain. Yes, it is healthy, and no, I'm not doing it for myself.

5. Yes, we do plan on homeschooling the boys. No, we're not fundamentalist Christians (about as far from it as you can get). Yes, they will get adequate socialization.

6. Yes, it is all by choice. We could afford to eat McDonald's everyday, like the person who seemed so proud to tell me that was her reason for doing so. However, the very thought of it makes me want to vomit, and I'm proud of the fact that Guthrie sees the "golden arches" and announces it's icky. And thought our friend's SpongeBob toy was Humpty Dumpty.

Any questions? Concerns? Comments?

If you really want to know why, ask. If you really want to pass your uneducated, ignorant "opinions" off and judge me, keep it to yourself. We're doing what's right for us. It's not right for you? Okay, fine, it's your life, you live it. Just let us do the same.

Ah, the beach. Who needs toys - Guthrie could have spent hours throwing seashells into the water.


Playing in the rain ...

Turner smiles now!

Brothers.

Turner had his appointment with the cardiologist today. No, you probably didn't know anything about it, because I decided not to say anything to anyone - no sense getting anyone worried over what was probably nothing. Well, I was right, because it's probably nothing. The doctor called it a "functional" heart murmur, which means probably no big deal. He wants to see Turner back in a year to check it. Said he'll be just fine, live a normal life. We all feel much, much better. Except that now Guthrie is obsessed with wanting to go to the doctor. Every time he bumped into something today, he announced he had an "owie" and needed to see the doctor. Maybe it was the lollipops that did it.

Our backyard is quickly turning into an orchard. We have my two orange trees, Guthrie has a lemon tree (which already has lemons growing), Roz got an avocado tree, Eric a banana plant, and Samantha wants a pear tree (which will, of course, need a partridge, and that bad joke was, of course, a tribute to my dad). I think we have enough trees. I feel good about having a potentially functional back yard. Instead of just a bunch of open space that the kids will never use enough to make it worthwhile, we can actually grow our own food, and do something beneficial to the environment. When Turner is old enough to help (or at least not scream at me) I want to try my hand at a garden. Nope, I've never been successful at growing anything green before, but I'm willing to try. I think it will be good for all of us. And kids are always much more enthusiastic about eating the food they've grown themselves, even if it's green.

Have I mentioned the produce here? About 1.5 miles from our house there is a produce stand. Today we stopped and got a half dozen plums, half dozen peaches, a pineapple, 3 oranges and 2 hot peppers. Total cost? $4. Yep, $4. Last time it was the plums, peaches, a watermelon, and a box of mangoes (15) for a whopping $9. I will never buy produce from the grocery store again if I can get it from the fruit stand. And on the way to Houston to take Roz home we saw avocadoes 8 for $1!!!!

Roz is home, Sam will be here in 3 weeks, and right now it's just the 4 of us. It feels very strange. The house feels waaaaay too big. And of course I miss Samantha like crazy, but she seems to be doing very well, and seems happy, and I'm confident that we all decided on the right thing. I think she needs way more attention than I was able to give her with one high-needs toddler, let alone a high-needs infant added to the mix. However, a non-custodial mother is always viewed with suspicion, and always assumed to be less than a good mother. @@ I'd like to list off all the reasons I wasn't even permitted to be a good mother, but some of you might be reading this, so I'll refrain. And if you suspect you might have been part of the reason, you're probably right. :) But no, I won't answer that question for you. Sorry. Deal with your guilt on your own. You deserve it.

Sleep!

I'm so unaccustomed to having a baby who will sleep on his own, or even sleep for extended periods of time, that now, while Guthrie (who now does sleep through the night, finally) and Turner are both asleep, I keep getting up every few minutes to check on them. I know Guthrie is okay, but Turner has been asleep, without needing someone next to him or holding him or some device moving him, for 1 1/2 hours. That, as any one who knows me knows, is a longer stretch than Guthrie would sleep for until he was over a year old. So, while I'm greatly enjoying it, I'm also having a hard time really relaxing.

With Guthrie, who was the most non-sleeping baby ever (Eric once kept track, and in a 4 hour stretch, Gus woke up 19 times. 19), I dreaded bedtime, and genuinely looked forward to the sun coming up. He was a joy during the day (was - still is), but a terror at night: constant nursing, constant waking, nobody but Mommy could comfort him.

Turner, on the other hand, makes me look forward to bedtime, and dread the daytime. Okay, so I'm not a vampire who really hates the sun, but he is a great sleeper (if a 5-hour stretch counts as sleeping through the night, he's basically done it since birth), but he screams during the day. It's better than it was, definitely, as at least now he smiles and laughs in between his screaming fits, but the screaming sucks. Makes me feel darn near useless as a mom, too, not being able to comfort my own little boy.

And he doesn't nurse as much as Guthrie ever did, but is growing just as well. He just latches on, gets down to business, and then pops off. No comfort nursing for this guy - it's all about the meal time. Much easier this way.

Sleep is a wonderful thing. I may actually get to know who my husband is again, too.

Happy Birthday To Me!

For my birthday, yesterday, I got orange trees. 2 of them. And for the first time in many a holiday, I didn' t guess my present before I got it. We were told they could bear fruit in as little as 2 years, depending on conditions, and I'm very excited that in a few years we'll have to go all the way to the backyard to pick fruit. Eric wants a couple more trees - a Live Oak, and a fruit tree each of the girls picks out. Roz thinks she wants a mango tree, and we'll have to see when Samantha gets here. We might plant a banana tree, too - they're yummy and fairly small.

Also got the complete run of the X-Files on DVD in the mail yesterday. It was perfect that it got here on my birthday. We'd wanted it for years, but it was too expensive. We checked the price again when we sold our house, and it came way down, so we figured we'd go for it.

Turner's hours upon hours of colicky screaming finally broke us, and we bought a swing. We didn't want to - neither of us wanted to be "baby gadget" kind of people - but we were desperate. A human being just isn't designed to keep a baby in that steady motion. (Maybe we are, but we're not used to it.) The car, a walk in the sling, any motion calmed him. So we got the swing. Now, if he starts to cuss me out, I strap him into the swing. Instead of an hour of yelling at mom, it's about 30 seconds of fussing, and then a nice, sweet, peaceful sleep.

How did the human race survive without baby gadgets?

Eric's brother Mitch is not going to make it to see us. We're all terribly disappointed, and so Rosalind is going to go home early, so she can celebrate the 4th with her mom. They actually do a big celebration, unlike us, who may be at home in bed with little ones before it's even dark enough for fireworks.

I noticed, here, wth us whiteys being the minority, there are lots of differences. Mostly I like them. The newspaper didn't say "Happy Independence Day," it said, "Happy Fourth of July." Because there is a large - majority -Mexican population, and they celebrate another Independence Day as well.

We're still loving it down here. You don't want to go out too much in the heat of the day, but early morning and early evening walks are beautiful.

I've lost well over half of my baby weight - down about 35 pounds. Only about 15 more to go. Fitting back into my clothes now, mostly.

Ah, the swing has lost its magic. Turner is screaming again. Bye-bye.

Whole Grain Crunch

Well, I'm not nearly as crunchy as I thought:

Do you have homebirths?
15 points for “yes” (unassisted)
10 points for “yes” (with a midwife in attendance)
5 points for alternative birthing center
2 points for “thinking about/would like homebirth”
0 for “no” (wouldn’t consider it).

Will you circumcise future sons?
5 points for “no”
-5 points for “yes”.

Do you use cloth diapers?
20 point if you do Elimination Communication (no diapers)
15 points if “yes” (wash and make your own)
10 points if “yes” (wash your own)
5 points if “yes” (diaper service)
2 points if “thinking about it”
0 points if “no” (wouldn’t consider it).

Do you observe your fertility signals using Natural FamilyPlanning/Fertility Awareness and use that for birth control/trying to conceive?
10 points for “yes” (observe and use for birth control/ttc) or you use ecologicalbreastfeeding/lactational amnorrhea
5 points for “yes” (observe for trying to conceive)
2 points “thinking about it”
0 points for “no” (wouldn’t consider it).

Do you breastfeed exclusively for the first 6+ months?
10 points if “yes”
5 points for “no” (use occasional bottles of expressed breastmilk)
2 points for “no” (use occasional bottles of formula)
0 for “no” (don’t breastfeed by choice).

Do you co-sleep/family bed?
10 points for “yes” (all night every night)
5 points for “yes” (part/all of most nights)
2 points for “thinking about it”
0 points for “no”.

Do you use a sling/soft carrier?
5 points for “yes”
2 points for “thinking about it”
0 points for “no” (wouldn’t consider it).

Do you believe in/practice child-led weaning(even if that means breastfeeding for several years)?
15 points for “yes” (complete child-led weaning)
10 points for “yes” (up to 3 years)
5 points for “yes” (up to 2 years)
2 points for “thinking about it”
0 points for “no” (you’ll wean the baby at 1 year or earlier).

Do you tandem nurse/nurse during your pregnancy?
10 points for “yes” (nurse during pgcy and tandem nurse)
5 points for “yes” (nurse during pgcy, but wean before birth)
2 points for “thinking about it”0 points for “no”(wouldn’t consider it).

Do you eat organic/whole/natural foods and limit your meat?
15 points for “yes” (grow own/buy organic, shop only at health food store,grind own wheat, vegetarian, etc.)
10 points for “yes” (grow some of own food, buy organic,use whole wheat flour, bake own bread, eat some meat occasionally)
5 points for “yes” (try to buy natural, whole grain foods, etc.)2 points for “thinking about it”
0 points for “no” (wouldn’t consider it).

Do you use herbal/homeopathic remedies?
10 points if “yes” (very rarely see a regular doctor)
5 points if “yes” (but use a doctor occasionally)
2 points if “thinking about it” (see a doc for now)
0 points for “no” (wouldn’t consider it).

Do you homeschool?
10 points if “yes” (currently homeschool)
5 points for “yes” (will homeschool)
2 points for “thinking about it”
0 points for “no” (wouldn’t consider it).

What's your take on childhood vaccinations?
15 points for no vaccines
10 for delayed, selective vaccination
5 points for selective, on schedule vaccination
2 points for thinking about not vaccinating
0 points for vaxing on schedule.

Would you/have you ever breastfeed/fed someone else's babyor have someone else bf your child?
10 points if yes (have or someone has bf your baby)
5 points if yes (would)
2 points if maybe
0 if no (wouldn't consider it).

Do you use cloth/re-usable products for mom?
10 points if yes (make own)
5 points if yes (buy own)
2 points if thinking about it
0 points if no

Ratings120 – 140 Super Nutty, Ultra-Crunchy Granola Earth Mama
90 – 119 Mmm! Love that whole-grain crunch!
60 – 89 Pretty Crispy
20 – 59 Sprinkled with Granola
5 – 19 Instant Oatmeal
0 - 4 Jell-O

I scored about a 100. give or take. (I can do the math, but some of the points could be more or less exact)

My answers, if you're curuous:

1. 10 points (midwife assisted homebirth)
2. 5 points No circ (we actually have one of each - got it right the second time - why mess with mother nature)
3. 2 points - thinking about cloth (or EV) after things get settled
4. 0 points I have an IUD. I like artificial hormones. But if my PMS weren't so unbearable, I might do NFP.
5. 10 points for ebfing first 6 months. Yes, Turner has had a couple bottles, but I doubt he'll get any more, and
I really don't see why the point difference.
6. 10 points All-night co-sleepers. Do I get double points for 2 kids?
7. 5 points. Love my sling. I think I should get extra for having made my own. Click here to see Guthrie and The Amazing Technicolor Dream Sling.
8. 10 points or so. In theory I like child-led weaning. I have set some major limits with Guthrie though, and I think 3 is about my limit. But I originally said we were done at a year, so who knows?
9. 10 points - I'm a tandem milk-machine
10. 10 points - almost a health food nut. We've been eating too much meat lately though, and Eric has fallen in love with pre-cooked, frozen bacon. Me - not so much.
11. 10 points We're down with the herbs. (Not that one!)
12. 5 points The boys aren't going near public schools. Eric taught teachers - I know how smart they (generally, Bekki excluded ;) aren't.
13. 10 points Delayed some vax
14. 5 points Under the right circumstances. It killed me to see those starving babies after Katrina - I wanted to nurse them all!
15. 2 points The Mirena should take care of most of the need, but if not, I'm considering cloth.

Now that you know more about me than you ever wanted to, does this look like a crunchy granola earth mama?

The view from a few minutes ago. If you look carefully, you'll see a double rainbow. A full double - it stretches all the way across the great big Texas sky.

Turner had his 2 month appt. last week. I think I like the pediatrician we picked. She started to give me the advice on breastfeeding as long as possible, and I just had to laugh, and let her know it was a lecture I didn't need - assured her Turner would still be getting the good stuff at his one year.

He weighed 12 pounds 12 ounces, and was 23 inches long. His colic, or whatever it is, hasn't passed yet. I've told Eric if I ever start talking about another baby, he is to yell at me for 3-4 hours aday, wake me at random intervals throughout the night, and spill milk on the shoulders of all my clothes. If, after a few weeks of that, I still want another baby, then we can talk.

Just pictures for now
.

Guthrie likes it here:



Turner thinks moving in is exhausting:

Our house:

Guthrie helping Daddy:

We're here!!!!!

But every time I try to actually update this site one of the boys wakes up. Or I decide it's more important to sleep (I'm such a bum). I'm currently typing one-handed while nursing Turner - multitasking!

So, pictures first:

Me with Turner at my class reuniuon, June 3rd

Guthrie being a ham

Turner, not crying

The mess we currently live in. Unpacking with a 2 year old and high-needs (read: screams much of the day) infant is not easy. I imagine the house won't lookmuch different for awhile.

Great pic of Stacia and Guthrie (and Roz, Sammie, Turner and me)

What else? I'm not completely cool with posting our new address here (yeah, I know you can find it easy enough if you want it, but why make it any easier? kwim), but we have a new e-mail, that I've set up to go to all of us, so if you want any combination of the family to see it, send it here. We're keeping our old e-mails, so if you just want it to go to Eric or Judy you can still do that. E-mail me and I'll send you our new address and phone number. Our cell numbers are staying the same.

I'll take and post pictures of the house when I can. And of the area - it's beautiful, and I have to admit, as much as I still don't really believe we bought a McHouse, where the EXACT SAME HOUSE is three doors down, I like not having a fixer-upper, and like having options! We don't ever have to shop at Wal-Mart again! We have independent, locally-owned stores! There is a taqueria on every corner! The produce is shipped in all the way from, well, the farm on the edge of town!

And have I mentioned we're only an hour from South Padre Island? Um, yeah, eat your hearts out. ;)

I've also added (or am going to attempt to add) a weather pixie to my little blog, so you can see the horrible weather here. Like when it's freezing rain in Missouri, or a tornado is about to blow through, you can see just how awful it is here. Although I think it'll be pretty uneventful - I think little miss weather pixie will be scantily clad most of the time.

Guthrie is awake and it's time for dinner. I'll post more in a few days when I get a chance.