I've rather suddenly become a single parent.
No, I didn't leave my husband. Rather, my husband left me.
Okay, he's only left me for 3 days, but still. Did I have you going there? I didn't think so.
Eric is currently sitting on a flight to Los Angeles, where he'll be spending the next three days. What's he doing in LA? Going to parties. Hanging out with his oldest dearest childhood friends. Having his portrait done. And mostly, from what I can tell, not having two drooling, crying, diaper-wearing, puking, pooping, "Mommy please may I play the train game?" little ones hanging off of him. Which is exactly what I'm going to be doing all weekend.
Oh, yes, it's all technically "business," and "job-related," and all that jazz, but I think I want a job where I get to go to LA and hang out with famous people, and generally be child-free for a weekend.
Did I mention he was having his portrait done? By the artist who recently did the portrait of one rather well known, very hot new mama?
(Okay, I'm just jealous that he's going to be hanging out with someone who got to see Angelina Jolie naked. There's my confession.)
And the highlight of my weekend will be ... I was thinking of taking the boys to the zoo, but it's going to rain, and none of really slept well last night - Guthrie woke up at 4 in the morning asking me to change his diaper (!), and then Turner peed through his diaper and all over his onesie, the bedclothes, and I woke up in baby pee. Eric will be having cocktails, with friends and without babies, on Hollywood and Vine, and I will be eating El Pollo Loco and watching Wallace and Gromit (I promised Gutrie we would). Tomorrow, Eric will be at the Huntington Library with movie stars while I'm changing diapers and cutting grapes.
Is there no justice in the world?
When he gets home, I'm taking a nap. Yeah, that's right. He goes for a weekend without the family, and what do I ask for in return? A nap. A long nap, all by myself. Maybe even a long bath. Seems fair, huh?
Wish me luck.