Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Math Relays

Some of my best memories of are math relays. Yes, I was a nerd. What did I do for fun on a Saturday morning? Get up at the crack of dawn, pack my bag full of cards, pencils, notebooks, over-processed snack foods, grab a soda and a pillow, and show up to meet the bus. Then we'd ride somewhere so we could take math tests.

Sounds like a great time, huh?

Seriously, there was something about being on the bus, with a bunch of other nerds, and doing our own version of competing. I wasn't athletic, or artistic, or able to compete in any other way, but man, was I good at math. (Apparently still am, since I caught a significant error in dh's checkbook today)

I will admit, without bragging too much, that I have many, many math relay medals and ribbons in my keepsake box. Of course, the one I remember the most is the 4th place I got at Smith-Cotton one year. 4th place. 3rd and better got to go to state. If I'd only known the quadratic formula I would have gone to state. And then there's the fact that the same person - from the 'Burg at that! - always beat me. Or at least that's how I remember it. Beat me in speech competition too. And to something else. Thought about linking to her profile, but decided against it. With good reason.

A lot of people really disliked word problems. I, on the other hand, enjoyed them, and did pretty well with them. All of this came to me earlier, when I was trying to get both boys down for a nap at the same time. I wanted to write a new math relay test, one for moms.

So, get out your #2 pencils, your solar powered graphing calculators*, and get ready to fill in some bubbles, 'cause it's math relay time!

Question #1:

Guthrie is 29 months old and needs approximately 47 minutes of sleep in any 24-hour period. Turner is 4 months old and needs much more sleep than this in a day. Judy is their 28-year-old mother, who would like to take a nap with them. If Guthrie wants to nurse to sleep for his nap, and Turner needs to be bounced to sleep for his, and Judy just wants a little bit of rest, should she drink the merlot or the cabernet?

Question #2:

Turner wears size 3 diapers, and goes through an economy size box in 16 days. Guthrie wears a size 6 diaper and his boxes last a little longer, 21 days. If they both wear the HEB store brand with Clifford and cute little bones on them, will Guthrie ever decide to potty train?


Judy and Eric are a happily married couple. They love their children, cook healthy yummy meals, and see their dentists fairly regularly. If both boys co-sleep, and Guthrie's train set has taken over the entire living room instead of his bedroom, why did they buy a 3-bedroom house?

Question #4:

Eric's brother has nicknamed Guthrie G-Mitch, since his middle name (Mitchell) is after Eric's brother. This is a cute nickname from his uncle. Turner has 2 middle names, and his initials are TMAW. Judy has begun calling him by those initials as a nickname - T-maw. Is this the silliest nickname ever?

Question #5:

If Eric announces, at 10:51 p.m. on a Wednesday, that he wants more babies, and Judy's response is "Screw you," to which he promptly replies, "Well, yeah, that's how it works," should she have another glass of merlot? Or should she just drink the whole bottle?

Time's UP! Turn in your papers and go to the gym to play the dot square game, some Gameboy, and eat some nachos while you wait for your results. The awards ceremony will be at noon.

*At some point in high school my friend Tonya and I discovered that we could pass notes back and forth on her graphing calculator. It always looked like we were working, but instead we were just using the alphabet feature to pass notes. I've heard you can also use them to store formulas to cheat on tests, though, so I'll have to change my earlier statement and ban graphing calculators from this test.


Callie said...

The bottle, honey, the whole bottle. But you have away the answer to #1 in your question of #5. I picked the merlot anyway.

karrie said...


I was on math team in jr. high. I really did not belong there since I stopped being good at math when I started menstruating. Sad, but true.

Question #1:

Judy should drink both!

Question #2:

Switch to the Spiderman learn & feel.


Because Judy will covert one of the bedrooms into a wine cellar.

Question #4:

Does that make you J-Maw or J-Mo?

Question #5:

She should hit Eric with the empties consumed prior to naptime.

Judy said...

So I wanted to down the bottle, but breastfeeding didn't allow for it.

And Karrie, who I got the link to "Campaign for a Commercial Free Childhood" from, is now recommending Spiderman? What's up with that? j/k If it helps with potty training, I don't care. We already bought Thomas the Train underwear to see if that would provide motivation (nothing doing).

At least I've never taken my kids to McDonald's! ;)

(Not entirely true - dd had her 3rd bday party there - but that was 7 years ago)

Abby said...


Late coming in here.

I vote for drinking both. Sorry you can not right now.

Mt son is two and a half and refuses to use the potty still. I am no help. We have tried underwear and just being naked. He goes on the floor.

I would love one more child. So I wish my husband wanted more. No help there either. I have two kiddos and the youngest is the not using the potty over two year old.

Obviously now is not the time for more kids anyway.

Isn't life fun?

karrie said...

I know, I know. I;m one of those mothers who in theory support the heck out of stuff like the Campaign, but in practice sometimes waver a bit.

I'm. so. weak.


J.D. Smith said...

What's a math relay?

Too smart for me.

Tonya said...

Not fair to give out our "secrets". haha Do you think we will get in trouble after all these years? :)