A Day in the Life

Totally stolen from Karrie.

5:50 a.m. : Guthrie is awake next to me, and reaching around my stomach to try to play with my mole. Try to stop him. Try to tell him to go back to sleep. Finally wake Eric up, ask him to get up with Guthrie for a little while. Eric asks how long, I beg for half an hour. Roll over, get comfy, realize I have to pee. Get up, pee, come back to find Turner awake.

6:06 a.m. : Open bedroom door, ask Eric to take Turner, and to please get me up at 6:45. Roll onto stomach, pull covers over head, sleep.

6:48 a.m. : Awaken to the sound of Turner wailing in the living room. Get up, go to Turner, he wants to nurse. Sit half awake and nurse Turner.

6:55 a.m.: Use bathroom, brush teeth.

7:00 a.m.: Go to kitchen. See pile of dishes in sink, since dishwasher is broken. Try to start making hot cereal, realize pans are all dirty. Start washing dishes. Get distracted by Guthrie trying to help. Turn off water, sit on futon, "read" newspaper.

7:20 a.m.: Remember laundry in washing machine from Friday night which never got put in dryer. Start washing machine to re-wash load.

7:27 a.m.: Guthrie starts asking for "may I please have some ice cream." Say no, repeatedly. While changing Turner's diaper, hear Guthrie pulling his stool into kitchen and see him come running into living room with ice cream carton and spoon. Throw hands into the air and give up.

7:40 a.m.: Second attempt at washing dishes. Eat two giant bites of ice cream, then go to garage to put carton in deep freeze. Guthrie follows. While locking deep freeze, ignore Guthrie's cries for his ice cream back.

7:43 a.m.: More dishes, with more help. Pan is now clean - put water on for hot cereal. Fight with Guthrie for control of water. Turner standing holding onto pants leg.

7:55 a.m.: Hot cereal is finished. Sit down and try to eat. Share with Turner and Guthrie. Stick bowl in sink with hot water.

8:00 a.m.: Eric asks, "Did you sleep in your clothes?" Realize I did, in fact, sleep in the jeans and tank top I was wearing last night. Give him a look.

8:10 a.m.: Decide to finally make the beans I've had sitting and waiting for a week. Ask Eric for tips on how to make beans in crock pot. Start beans. Crumble in some bacon. Cut and saute onions, while intermittently bouncing Turner and making funny faces at him.

8:30 a.m.: Remember to throw laundry in dryer, and put more in washer.

8:40 a.m.: Eric leaves for work.

8:50 a.m.: Check e-mail, check Babycenter, leave pointless comments.

9:00 a.m.: Change diapers. Nurse Turner. He doesn't want to take his nap.

9:10 a.m.: Wash more dishes, glare at broken dishwasher.

9:13 a.m.: Threaten to take away Guthrie's kitchen toys if he doesn't pick them up. Threat almost works - he starts. Finish picking up toys. Find clothes for boys.

9:20 a.m.: Use bathroom, with assistance from two small boys. Stop fights. Repeatedly state, "Don't knock over your brother. Leave the door open."

9:30 a.m.: Check weather forecast for what to wear. Dress. Try to put on makeup. Comfort Turner, who was scared by the baby in the mirror. Nurse again. Still doesn't want a nap.

9:42 a.m.: Check e-mail, blogs. Remind Guthrie not to knock over his brother. Take away three trains which Guthrie is using as weapons. Get boys dressed for library.

10:13 a.m.: Leave for library and story hour. Realize I'm still starved. Grab handful of almonds and water bottle.

10:20 a.m.: arrive at library, let Guthrie go play, start picking out books.

10:30-11:10 a.m.: Story hour. Today, this consisted of Guthrie sitting quietly with the other kids and listening to the stories (and not participating the in the "active parts" like jumping up and down) and me sitting and holding Turner and trying to keep him occupied with my keys. Then, the craft - making necklaces. Guthrie scribbled a few lines on the "charms" (a duck and a frog) and then started stringing the cut straws. Turner started crying. He wanted to nurse, but then he didn't. Latch on, latch off. I'm trying to help Guthrie. Trying to tie the ribbon while not losing beads while not dropping Turner while not letting Turner start wailing to the heavens. We only finished one necklace, and brought the other home.

11:25 a.m.: Home. Lie down with Turner to nurse him back to sleep, then get up, fix Guthrie some lunch (cut turkey, bowl of yogurt, and a plum) and nuke me a quesadilla (spicy refried beans, tomatoes, cheese, turkey, bacon, jalapenos, and yogurt). Change out the laundry, start new load. Eat lunch with Guthrie. Take vitamins. Begin washing dishes. Finish half of what's in the sink.

12:00 p.m.: Turner crawls into living room, crying. Nurse for 2 minutes. Then, boys play, I check e-mail. Look longingly at bottle of wine. Mailman rings bell - two boxes from a friend of Eric's.

12:17 p.m.: Trying to finish dishes. Turner starts screaming uncontrollably, for no apparent reason. Must be held.

1:02 p.m.: Back in the van, on the way to the park.

1:15-2:00 p.m.: Park. Guthrie chases a couple older kids. They all seem to be having fun, until Guthrie comes running to me, near tears. He says, "Mommy, I'm not dead. I'm not dead, Mommy." I go with him to where the other kids are, and reassure him that he is not dead. The older boy says, "Why can't you go away? Go play somewhere else. We don't want to play with you." I use every bit of restraint I have not to knock the little boy out with my thermos, and then tell Guthrie the other kids are being mean, and we can go play somewhere else. Guthrie still insists on playing with those kids, so I tell him we have to go. The mean boy says, "I'm not being mean." I tell him he was little once, and wanted to play with the older kids, too, and that's all Guthrie wants. The boys assures me he didn't want to play with older kids. I have to practically drag Guthrie away, screaming.

2:15 p.m.: At Target, with screaming Guthrie. Return pants that didn't fit, get a few groceries, and Guthrie a train to make up for the mean kids. (What can I say? I'm weak) Turner screams through the half of the store that Guthrie doesn't.

3:15 p.m.: Home. Nurse Turner to sleep. I think I hear my name being called. Oh, I do. It's the bottle of Cabernet. I tell it to wait patiently.

3:30 p.m. Guthrie playing with trains, mom checking on beans and eating yogurt. I must call my mom.

3:40 p.m.: Begin making cornbread to go with beans. Guthrie wants to help. Spill cornmeal on floor. Guthrie cracks the eggs - most goes into the bowl. Eric walks in the door, announces "Mitch (his brother) will be at your mom's (to pick up Eric's VW) in about 20 minutes - call her." Frustration starts to set in.

3:50 p.m.: Cornbread goes in the oven. Throw garlic, tomatoes and cilantro in beans.

3:52 p.m.: Call Mom.

3:54 p.m.: Turner crying. Pick him up, while balancing phone against shoulder.

3:58 p.m.: Mitch arrives at Mom's, hang up phone.

4:15 p.m.: Take out cornbread, turn off beans. Pour in bowls and serve. Give Turner his first beans. Realize that giving our Turner, who can't seem to sleep through farting, beans is probably a very, very bad idea.

4:40 p.m.: Call Mom back, check on situation. All is well.

5:00 p.m.: Stare at growing stack of dirty dishes. Cuss at broken dishwasher. Nurse Turner. Play with boys. Check e-mail.

6:15 p.m.: As Eric is walking out the door, get a request to call friends back home to assist Mitch in moving the Bug. Make note. Guthrie begs for ice cream. Ice cream. Ice cream. Ice cream. Ice cream. I remember why I don't keep ice cream in the house. Give in, and give it back to him. He eats half the carton. I plan to finish it after he's in bed.

6:45 p.m.: Wrestle boys into clean diapers, PJs, and into bedroom. Read stories. Comfort Guthrie and find solution to "the Lorax," which breaks his heart. Show him the beginning of the story, when the trees were still there. Nurse Turner. Repeatedly.

8:15 p.m.: Boys sleeping. Caress wine bottle. Finish ice cream.

8:30 p.m.: Turner awake - nurse. Sit in front of computer.

9:52 p.m.: Eric home. Put Turner back in bed, open wine bottle, pour glass. Aaaah!

10:35 p.m: Get IM from Samantha. Talk to her. She made the math contest again. AWESOME!!!! And - I'll be there on that day, hopefully. Oh - Turner's awake. He must fart. Stays awake. *sigh*

11:00 p.m.: Samantha goes to bed, Turner is still awake.

12:00 a.m.: Turner finally sleeping, go to bed.



And of course, that's only what I remembered to write down. Add in about a dozen diaper changes, snacks given, a few more times nursing, lots of train track building, saving the littler one from big brother's "help," and hair generally being pulled out. Because we Stay-At-Home-Moms sit around watching TV and eating bon bons all day. :P