This is what it's all about. Right down to the diaper laying on the floor in the background.

I think I got my template things figured out, for now. It's still too boring. Will work on it later.

This morning I asked Guthrie what he thought of his brother. My little 2 1/2 year old sweetie said, "He's wonderful." How sweet is that? I think we must be doing something right.

Then, later, I asked if it would be fun when Turner is old enough to play with him, and if they would both play trains. Guthrie said, "No, Turner's not big. He's little. He eats boobies." !!!

I've decided I'm entirely too boring when, after both kids are miraculously asleep at 5:30 at night, my big excitement is reading other people's blogs. And debating on
Feeding Choices. And reading. And loading pictures onto Shutterfly.

Yeah, I need a life.

And how about some reasons you know you're a mom.

1. You open the refrigerator and find a matchbox car, a tealight candle, and a crayon.
2. You ask your husband to hold the baby so you can "go use my diaper." I meant the bathroom. Hopefully.
3. The last 4 books you read were written by Sears, Pantley, Sears, and your husband. That's all you can remember. In the last 3 years.
4. You have puke, poop, and pee on your shirt and pants and just don't even bother changing.
5. You look forward to bathroom breaks. You lock the door.
6. There is at least one toy car in every room of the house.
7. You have taken over 300 digital pictures. In the month of July. And there are two weeks left.

So I'm playing around with all kinds of things in my template. And it's been awhile since I've really done any html, and I've forgotten a lot, and trying to do it with the 2 little ones ... it's not working well. So I've got duplicated links, a font I don't like, blah, blah, blah. If it looks weird for awhile, bear with me. I'll get it all figured out.

A few dozen reasons I still have 14 pounds to lose:



Oh, yes, Eric made his cookies. His special cookies. His special, secret-recipe, this-time-customized-just-for-Judy cookies. Whole wheat flour. Oats. Maple syrup. Almond butter. Almond extract. Almonds. (seeing a pattern here - Judy loves almonds) Walnuts. Dark chocolate chips. It's like heaven in your hand (and your mouth, and then your thighs).

These were, undoubtedly, part of the reason I gained 55 pounds with Turner. The ice cream didn't help. But now, I've lost 36 pounds, and I'd like to lose the rest. These cookies are not helping.

(Yes, I know 36 pounds lost and 14 to lose doesn't equal 55 - I don't think I need to lose those last five, and don't know how I got down where I was before making Turner. I just want to get back in my favorite capris.)

I've gone back to being mostly vegetarian, and am aiming for mostly vegan. The ease of access to very cheap, yummy, pre-made tacos at every grocery store and gas station in the area does not help. So, I'm making beans. Lots of beans. Full of good stuff, fat free, cheap. I'll be a bean queen soon.

Guthrie took this picture, his second time using a camera:

He took this one his first time. Just like his dad. ;)

"Look, I was here first. Just do what I say and it'll all work out."

Stole this from the Feeding Choices Debate Board. Had to post it here. Fits the mood I'm in today. Well, the mood I've been in a for a few days.

A week or so ago, we had some friends over, a couple with a young daughter. They're really nice people, and they're daughter is a beautiful little sweetheart, who Guthrie is madly in love with. :) It was kind of late, Guthrie's sleep schedule was all messed up, and I knew it was pointless to try to get him to bed when there was a little girl here for him to play with. And, because he was tired,he was being a maniac at times.

While the men were standing outside drinking a beer, I was inside with the other mom, talking. Between Guthrie's staying up late and less-than-perfect behavior, she was telling me that he ets away with anything, and that I really needed to work on some discipline with him.

Okay, first of all, we've only been in this house for about 6 weeks, we haven't even gotten everything unpacked, and the kid is only 2. He's still trying to adjust to everything. Cut him some slack.

Second, I hardly think spanking or leaving a child to cry (which is how she suggested I get my 2 month old to start sleeping through the night) is a very effective or positive form of discipline.

But I didn't say anything. I didn't feel like arguing, or pissing anyone off. We really like her husband, and want to maintain the friendship (although I can't exactly see having a friendship with her), so I kept my mouth shut.

And this has just been how I'm feeling lately. We are, quite obviously, making a conscious and deliberate decision to actively reject many of our current cultural and societal norms, standards and behaviors. It is, quite frankly, much much easier to do now, here, where we are so far from family and others we know and who would criticize us for it, but it's still a difficult thing to do and stand by sometimes. We parent differently than the "mainstream," we eat differently, we value different things.

When you walk into our house, you'll notice immediately. We don't have a TV. (Well, we do, but it's still sitting in the garage, and that's where it will stay, unplugged) Our walls are covered (almost literally) with framed family pictures. We have thousands of books. We don't have a dining room, but instead have a library, which will also eventually be the room we use to homeschool the boys. Our bedroom has 3 beds - a futon on the floor, one on a frame, and a toddler bed. All four of us sleep in the one room. Guthrie's train set takes up half the living room.

We are, according to the standard American mindset, a little (lot) weird. So? What's so freaking great about being normal? Was Einstein normal? Newton? Darwin? Anyone who's ever made a difference in this world?

But we still feel the need to defend ourselves, at times, and it can still be hard to fight the prevailing mindset.

So, for anyone who wonders:

1. No, we don't plan on bringing the TV in from the garage, ever. We don't want cable. The one TV show I watch I plan to buy from iTunes, if I feel the need.

2. Yes, the boys do sleep in the same room with us. Yes, Turner sleeps with me, and most nights Guthrie comes to bed with me in the middle of the night. Yes, that does mean Eric and I don't actually sleep in the same bed. Yes, we like it this way. Yes, there are other places, besides the bed, for that.

3. No, we're not vegetarian, we just don't eat conventionally raised beef. No, I don't really miss it that often. Yes, you can get enough protein and iron without eating cow.

4. Yes, Guthrie still nurses to sleep. Yes, he will wean before college, I'm certain. Yes, it is healthy, and no, I'm not doing it for myself.

5. Yes, we do plan on homeschooling the boys. No, we're not fundamentalist Christians (about as far from it as you can get). Yes, they will get adequate socialization.

6. Yes, it is all by choice. We could afford to eat McDonald's everyday, like the person who seemed so proud to tell me that was her reason for doing so. However, the very thought of it makes me want to vomit, and I'm proud of the fact that Guthrie sees the "golden arches" and announces it's icky. And thought our friend's SpongeBob toy was Humpty Dumpty.

Any questions? Concerns? Comments?

If you really want to know why, ask. If you really want to pass your uneducated, ignorant "opinions" off and judge me, keep it to yourself. We're doing what's right for us. It's not right for you? Okay, fine, it's your life, you live it. Just let us do the same.

Ah, the beach. Who needs toys - Guthrie could have spent hours throwing seashells into the water.


Playing in the rain ...

Turner smiles now!

Brothers.

Turner had his appointment with the cardiologist today. No, you probably didn't know anything about it, because I decided not to say anything to anyone - no sense getting anyone worried over what was probably nothing. Well, I was right, because it's probably nothing. The doctor called it a "functional" heart murmur, which means probably no big deal. He wants to see Turner back in a year to check it. Said he'll be just fine, live a normal life. We all feel much, much better. Except that now Guthrie is obsessed with wanting to go to the doctor. Every time he bumped into something today, he announced he had an "owie" and needed to see the doctor. Maybe it was the lollipops that did it.

Our backyard is quickly turning into an orchard. We have my two orange trees, Guthrie has a lemon tree (which already has lemons growing), Roz got an avocado tree, Eric a banana plant, and Samantha wants a pear tree (which will, of course, need a partridge, and that bad joke was, of course, a tribute to my dad). I think we have enough trees. I feel good about having a potentially functional back yard. Instead of just a bunch of open space that the kids will never use enough to make it worthwhile, we can actually grow our own food, and do something beneficial to the environment. When Turner is old enough to help (or at least not scream at me) I want to try my hand at a garden. Nope, I've never been successful at growing anything green before, but I'm willing to try. I think it will be good for all of us. And kids are always much more enthusiastic about eating the food they've grown themselves, even if it's green.

Have I mentioned the produce here? About 1.5 miles from our house there is a produce stand. Today we stopped and got a half dozen plums, half dozen peaches, a pineapple, 3 oranges and 2 hot peppers. Total cost? $4. Yep, $4. Last time it was the plums, peaches, a watermelon, and a box of mangoes (15) for a whopping $9. I will never buy produce from the grocery store again if I can get it from the fruit stand. And on the way to Houston to take Roz home we saw avocadoes 8 for $1!!!!

Roz is home, Sam will be here in 3 weeks, and right now it's just the 4 of us. It feels very strange. The house feels waaaaay too big. And of course I miss Samantha like crazy, but she seems to be doing very well, and seems happy, and I'm confident that we all decided on the right thing. I think she needs way more attention than I was able to give her with one high-needs toddler, let alone a high-needs infant added to the mix. However, a non-custodial mother is always viewed with suspicion, and always assumed to be less than a good mother. @@ I'd like to list off all the reasons I wasn't even permitted to be a good mother, but some of you might be reading this, so I'll refrain. And if you suspect you might have been part of the reason, you're probably right. :) But no, I won't answer that question for you. Sorry. Deal with your guilt on your own. You deserve it.