Hog Head Anyone

Yesterday at breakfast I was doing what I usually do - drinking a cup of coffee, eating my oatmeal, and reading the newspaper while listening to the boys play nicely and calmly. (Morning, after breakfast, is about the only time those words can be applied to my boys' play.) I was glancing through the grocery store sale ad when I almost lost my oatmeal.

I realize it may be somewhat culturally insensitive, and really, if you are going to kill animals for food, then doesn't it make sense to use as much of the animal as possible? But at the same time, couldn't they have hidden the WHOLE HOG HEAD (only $ .49 a pound!) on the back of the ad, you know, right next to the "quartered pork feet (previously frozen, $ .99/pound) or the Fresh Beef Tongue ($2.69/pound)? And further, does anyone know, exactly, precisely, what you are supposed to do with a whole hog head? Other than scare the crap out of your children and cause weaklings like me to nearly lose their oatmeal and immediately feed whatever pork products might be in the house (does this picture make YOU want salami?) to the cat?

If Sarah Palin was my mother ...

I would be doomed. Okay, actually, since I was pregnant at the same age as her daughter, maybe things wouldn't be that different. (Joking Mom!)

But, my name would be ...

Hose Hotrod Palin!

And how do I know this? Because someone set up the Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator so we could all find out.

And I am married to Sack Panther.

Our children (in order from oldest to youngest) are:

Axe Diesel (Samantha, I think, is happy with her name right now)
Clip Dragon (Oooh, Rosalind, Dragon is kind of cool)
Crop Schooner (sorry Guthrie)
Staff Wrench (yep, Turner is a better name)

Go ahead, click on over and have a laugh. But I must admit, I think Piper is a pretty cool name. Oh, yeah, and I've eaten both Moose and Elk, and they are yummy. But Sarah Palin still scares me.

Hey - I won something!!!!

http://www.breastfeeding123.com/if-these-boobs-could-talk-giveaway-winner/

Check it out! I won something! I can't remember the last time I won something, and since I've been having a less-than-stellar last couple of weeks, YEAH!!!!!!!

It's a great breastfeeding blog, so you should go check it out!

His name was Guthrie, he was a Jedi

Guthrie totally looks like





a Jedi.

(Because I can never get it to work when I try to embed video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNiOMQZyMT8)

Is this what aging is like?

I turned 30 about 2 months ago. Yes, 30, and yes, it is painful to type that. I was a little, um, terrified of that number, but it's come, it's gone, and there's no stopping it now. And I figured, really, I was in some of the best shape of my life, healthy, fit, happy, strong, great family, stable. So, what's 30, really?

But I turned 30 while we were having visits from our daughters (who each live with the other parent) and Eric's niece. We baked more than usual. We ate out more than usual. We took some shortish and weekend road trips, and drank sodas and ate Sun Chips and cheese dips and hotel breakfasts. Did I mention we baked a lot?

And the net result of that was about 7 pounds extra (7 pounds in 6 weeks) of which 4-5 are stubborn and trying to become permanent. No big deal, I just need to get back on the elliptical/bike/step machine/walks with the family.

Last week, I'm not sure how (but I know it wasn't interesting or exciting), but I hurt my neck and shoulder. The pain comes in waves, but for about a week now, the left side of my neck has been really sore. It might have been from moving up the next size in weights too soon. Or laying in a weird position in bed to write in my journal. No matter how I got it, it HURTS, and I've been relatively inactive - no weights for right now - to try to help it heal. I'd visit a doctor, but I'm not sure there's much they could do.

Motrin helps some. Icy Hot does too, but then I smell like an old person. The perfume I put on to cover it made me smell like an old person wearing Peony perfume.

Tonight, my dear husband suggested out of nowhere - and my husband never suggests this out of nowhere - that we go out for some dinner. Guthrie's been wanting IHOP, so okay, we went to IHOP. I had the Chicken Florentine Crepe, which was YUM (but I'm sure had 6,000 calories), and a couple bites of Guthrie's pancake. Thoroughly enjoyed the dinner, then stopped by a pet store, where both boys fell in love with a Pomeranian puppy, which we cannot get because I'm allergic.

And then the dinner confirmed a suspicion I've had for some time: I'm apparently allergic (or intolerant, whatever difference it makes) to mushrooms. I used to HATE mushrooms - just looking at them made me gag - but now I really, really enjoy them. The last few times I ate them, I had stomach pain. Tonight, I figured I'd try the food to see how it was, but also do a little test to check on the mushrooms. Sure enough, it's all I can do not to curl up in the fetal position clutching my belly. I'm making an appointment for allergy testing tomorrow.

So, I turn 30, gain 5 pounds, injure my neck, smell like an old lady, and end up doubled over in agony from mushrooms.

I think 30 sucks!

I act 30. And I'm almost 30. Scary.

I got this from my daughter on MySpace. When I looked at my number, and realized it's age 30 - and I'm about to turn 30 (3 weeks from today), I laughed. And then I wanted to cry.

For the record, the one detention I got was in Advanced Chemistry class. One of my best friends, Tonya, and I wouldn't shut up during class - don't know why. I think we had the highest grades in the class, but we just couldn't stop talking, and the teacher got sick of it and gave us a detention. We had a blast!



[[x] You know how to make a pot of coffee
[x] You keep track of dates using a calendar
[x] You own a credit card
[ ] You know how to change the oil in a car
[x] You've done your own laundry
[ ] You vote in every election
[x] You can cook for yourself
[x] You think politics are exciting
TOTAL SO FAR: 6

[ ] You show up for school late sometimes
[x]You always carry a pen in your bag/purse
[ ]You've never gotten a detention
[ ] You have forgotten your own birthday at least once
[x]You like to take walks by yourself
[x]You know what credibility means, without looking it up
[x] You drink caffeine at least once a week
TOTAL SO FAR:10

[x] You know how to do the dishes
[x] You can count to 10 in another language
[x] When you say you're going to do something you do it
[x] You can mow the lawn
[x] You remember to water the plants
[x] You study when you have to
[x] You remember to feed your pets
TOTAL SO FAR: 17

[x] You can spell experience, without looking it up
[x] You clean up your own mess
[ ] The people at Starbucks know you by name
[ ] Your favorite kind of food is take out
[x] The first thing you do when you wake up is get caffeine
[x]You can go to the store without getting something you don't need
[x] You understand political jokes the first time they are said
[x] You can type pretty quick
TOTAL SO FAR:23


[x] You have realized that the weather forecast changes every hour
[ ] Your only friends are from your place of employment
[x] You have been to a Tupperware party
[x] You have realized that no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job
[ ] You have more bills than you can pay
[x] You have been to the beach
[x] You use the internet every day you have the chance
[x] You have been outside of the united states
[x] You can read a book and actually finish it...
TOTAL: 30

Because there is something to be said for feeling like a 12-year-old girl again

http://nkotb.com/

and

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20187202,00.html

So, we don't have a TV or cable, so I'm checking to see if I can watch this live online. And if not, I've gotta figure out where I can go to see it live, even that early in the morning. (Denny's?)

Oh, yes, I am a total dork. But, see, it gets worse. My bedroom, when I was 12 or so, actually looked like this:

Okay, stop laughing. I'll wait. Done?

Obsessive is probably the right word to use. But anyway ...

Who knew Joey would be the hottest one 20 years later? Or that time would be the least kind on Jordan (whose poster I had hanging on my ceiling - it's not in the pictures - so I could look at it as I fell asleep at night)? And you know, Danny wasn't all that hot back then, but time HAS been kind to him! Whoo!

The big question has become, when they finally announce their reunion tour dates, who am I going to go to the concert with? And where? Goodness knows they're probably not coming to the RGV - Austin? Do I go back to KC?

So ... who's in for a little old-fashioned NKOTB party? I'm still "Hangin' Tough" as long as they've got "The Right Stuff." Just taking this all "Step by Step."

(Oh goodness I've gone over the edge now. Someone stop me. But I'm practically giddy right now thinking about it. I do feel almost 12 again.)

Sick, sick, sick

Guthrie's birthday was yesterday. He is now 4. I've been trying to post pics and stuff, but our internet has been slow. I'll try again later.

In other news ...

Eric was in New York last week, from Wednesday through Saturday. Friday I thought I had allergies, but it turned into a cold, and I've been feeling generally icky. I was looking forward to Eric getting home (he was in Savannah the previous weekend) so I could maybe get a nap, a long shower, start to feel better. Except his flight was late (just a little) and when he got home he was complaining of aches and pains.

Sunday morning: 102F fever. By yesterday it was 103. I think he officially has "the flu." He's sicker than I've ever seen him. He couldn't even eat birthday cake with us.

Daylight Savings Time is a PITA. How do you get toddlers and preschoolers to transition without having screaming tantrums at weird hours of the day?

For his birthday, we got Guthrie the Thomas the Tank Engine movie, Thomas and the Magic Railroad. Guthrie loves it, of course, although Diesel 10 is scary. But the movie? It's awful. Get it for your sons if they love Thomas, but try not to subject yourself to watching it if you can get away with it. It's just dreadful.

Cheesecake Brownies (I got the recipe here) are HEAVENLY and definitely worth making.

And without trying, Eric figured out how to save us money. See, we were going to spend a night (or two) of spring break in Corpus Christi or Austin. But now that he has the flu, and has only emerged from the spare bed a few times in the last few days, we're not going anywhere. So that's a few hundred more dollars in our pockets, right?

The most Romantic LolCats ever

moar humorous pics

Too much sweetness for me. I hope she said yes.

Should I be concerned?

My husband (age 46) just came into the room, laughing hysterically at something he was reading in a newspaper we'd picked up free today.

The reason I was frightened? The newspaper was the "Senior News."

And now he's reading about what activities are offered in the area for the older crowd.

Scary?

(Oooh, he just said something about the annual "Chocolate Festival." I wanna go.)

Who says I can't cook?

My men - all 3 of them - disagree.

I had a loaf of bread, fresh out of the machine (okay, it's made with a machine, but it's not from a mix, so does that count as homemade?), and we were tearing off pieces to eat. Until Turner realized it's easier to just pick up the whole loaf. And as someone who has a complex about her cooking abilities (or lack thereof), it made me feel like a MOM to have my boys running around loving something I had cooked. Just warmed my heart, and then my belly. Because there is nothing in the world like freshly baked bread.

As the New Year fast approaches

I've been thinking about past New Year's, especially those since 2001 and as long as Eric and I have been together, and I realized something.

We suck at celebrating New Year's.

This year? We're sitting at home, drinking wine (me) and beer (him), eating cookies, maybe YouTubing later for fun. (Oh, how lame we are.) At least we did put on some nice(r) clothes and a little makeup (well, I did) so we feel a little more festive.

Past years? I realized I couldn't even remember most of our NYE's together. 2001 we were in New York City. But as we walked around the city earlier in the day, and saw all of the preparations - including what felt like armies of police officers on various corners preparing for patrol (this was the first NYE post-9/11), we decided Times Square was the last place we wanted to be. We went to a party with a friend, but it was totally lame (what I remember most was a bunch of kids of various ages all sequestered in a bedroom that felt more like a closet, and some guy talking about how he'd been working on his dissertation - on James Joyce, of course - for way too many years). And so, at midnight, NYE, 2001, in NYC, we were in our hotel room, watching the ball drop on TV like everyone else in the country. Lame.

2002? I don't remember. At all. I don't think this is because I was too drunk, either, unfortunately. Looking back at pictures and trying to figure it out, I think we were either in a hotel somewhere, or were spending one night in our apartment after getting back off one road trip and about to depart on another to fetch Rosalind from Houston for her Christmas visit. No pictures, no memories. No clue.

2003? I was pregnant, with Guthrie. We had a party platter of meats and cheeses, drank sparkling grape juice with Sammie and Roz from pretty glasses, and watched the ball drop on TV. There are pictures. I remember that one.

2004? At our farmhouse, we drank a bottle of champagne Eric had gotten during his week in France promoting his book. (He was given the bottle as part of the festival he attended.) House full of kids. Not much excitement.

2005? No memories, again. None. *sigh* See a trend yet?

2006? That one was okay. We stayed the night in a hotel on South Padre Island, watched fireworks on the beach from our room, had a party tray and wine and beer, and stayed up until 2 or 3 in the morning on the deck of the hotel room, kids asleep in the room. That was our best NYE.

We were going to go back to the beach this year, but the holidays left us broke. *sigh* Next year maybe.

So, this year, we're boring and lame again. I hope everyone else is having fun for us. Turner is already sleeping, Guthrie is watching a movie, Roz is reading, and look at what I'm doing. The neighbors are shooting off fireworks (illegally).

2007 was a decent year, but 2008 is going to be better. Much better. Good things are on their way.

Happy New Year everyone!!!

Cleaning

My mother-in-law will be here in a matter of hours.

Nothing like an impending visit from your husband's mother to motivate a girl to wash the windows.

Woo-Woo!

Another reason I don't like battery operated, noise-making, light-activated toys:

When I walk past the train puzzle with all the pieces missing and my shadow causes enough change in the light to cause it to go off, but I can't figure out what the heck that weird noise is at 10 at night, it scares the heck out of me, and I'm sure there is a pterodactyl in my house.

And there wouldn't be batteries in it at all if Guthrie hadn't figured out that the little slots in the backs or bottoms of certain toys hold batteries, which cause the toy to do something.

Why I'm an even bigger dork

Because I was so excited that I felt the need to blog about it.

Why I am a Total Dork

Because this news made me squeal with joy. Seriously.

In case you don't want to click on the link, the news, the wonderful news that made this Total Dork squeal, is that David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson are both on board to do another X-Files movie. Yippee!!!!!!

I guess this means Eric and I have to get back to watching our DVDs of the series. We still haven't made it through the first season, but since Turner is starting to sleep better, maybe we can waste our evenings with Mulder and Scully. Ummm, Mulder, Yummmmmm. I mean, that was a great show, uh, yeah, great show. I actually didn't see much of the last season, so I still don't know how it ended. Gotta find that out soon.

Yippee!!